I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
