You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
