Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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