so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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