med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
