I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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