there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
