had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
