she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
