Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
