I can't watch pbs sober anymore
fuck your aforementioned shoe
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
