i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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