I hate your face
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize