didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
