Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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