would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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