just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
