I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize