Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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