I want you more than these girls want KFC
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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