I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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