YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize