why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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