I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
