come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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