office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
