A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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