did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
