a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
