Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
