id be glad to
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
