i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
