so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The beer is more important than you right now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize