I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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