This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
