i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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