i jhust puked up my retainher.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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