nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
