We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
