Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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