I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
