Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
