Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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