We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
