Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
