why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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