am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
