I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
