You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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