yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
