You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
this will be a night to untag.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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