WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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