flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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