We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
