Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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