Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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