I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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