I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
