At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
