dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
