the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize