not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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